Oh Marriage

Pretty much T and I's marriage has been a total disaster. We were married in February 2009. By June we were separated. And by September, we were legally separated and I had moved out. It's been bad. Then out of the ashes of our marriage, I find out that I'm pregnant. It's a blessing. At least for me.

T, he's going through a lot of crap right now. Most, if not all, is by his own making. But instead of focusing that anger on the person that causes it, he focuses it all on me. It saddens me. A lot. My heart is broken. I do still love him. But I refuse to stay with him if he's going to treat me this way. I want for my child to grow up with 2 loving parents. Not in the middle of a war, like I did.

So we're divorcing. At least that's what I've been trying to do. But T refuses to sign the papers. But he also refuses to talk to me. He won't accept our child. But he'll except the child of his ex-girlfriend. He doesn't want to be married, but he doesn't want to be divorced. What the hell does this man want?

This T, is not the same man I fell in love with. That man was fun, caring, and loving. We would look out for one another in life. We wanted to be together. He taught me things I thought I'd never learn. And he made me feel safe and loved. Now, I just feel sad when I'm around him. And I feel sad when we're apart.

Especially when I go to my doctor appointments. I tried setting them up when he could come. But he refused to come. He refused to believe that he was expecting 2 children, from 2 women, at the same time. Believe me, it still makes me sick to think of the facts. But the truth of the matter is, this is our baby.

So what were our vows again...Love, Honor...

I hope one day that T and I can get this straightened out. I never wanted to bring any sadness or negativity to our lives or to this blog. This blog was to document our blessing. And to try and mend fences. For the sake of our child. The child that didn't ask to come into this world. But the child that we made together. We probably won't make it as a couple, but I hope at the end of the day, we can still Love, Honor, and Respect each other. H

Bellasymphony Giveaway

The blog Cakies is doing a giveaway for Bellasymphony. And now that I think I'm having a girl, I'm allowing myself to fall in love with all these girly things. :) Especially this little onesie. So hurry up and go enter the giveaway for your chance to win a tutu or an ebook from Bellasymphony. H

Cinnamon Sticks Giveaway

The blog Cakies is doing a giveaway. It's for $50 to the shop Cinnamon Sticks. This happens to be my favorite piece in the shop. For your chance to win, go enter here. There are so many amazing pieces in Cinnamon Sticks. I'm sure you'll find something that you like. H

Rock-A-Bye Glider and Ottoman

I bit the bullet. And I ordered my Glider and Ottoman. The 2 together were under $550. And they were worth every penny! Oh my goodness! They are comfortable. I've secretly considered buying 2 of these chairs, but the cream ones, for my living room. :)

Don't tell me that this chair doesn't look comfy. In real life, I fell asleep in it, on the day it was delivered. :)

And a comfy ottoman, for those late nights of breastfeeding. :)

Yes, after looking and looking, I ordered this set from Babies 'R Us. I feel like it was a really good deal. Like I said, it's super comfy. It's firm and supportive, but really comfy. And I decided on the green, because it matches all 4 of the bedding sets, that I've been thinking about. Every set has green in it. So I think this will go really well. Now I just can't wait to rock my baby to sleep. H

I Should Learn How to Cook Like This...

Really, I don't know how to cook. Not very much. And not well. In fact, I'm pretty sure the one time I really attempted a big dinner for me and my hubby, I got us sick. I don't think I cooked the chicken all the way...

But these 2 videos give me a little hope. And around here, well Southern food is a must! I just don't know how to cook...





And now that I have an appetite again, I think I really need to start learning how to cook. Before I know it, I'll be a mommy. And my little girl will be depending on me to cook for her. I really want her to eat better than I did as a kid. I was pretty much raised on fast food and frozen food. Not good!

I don't think I'll start with this recipe. But I'm really going to focus on learning how to cook. At least by the time my daughter is old enough, I should know how to cook something. Something that tastes decent, and is somewhat healthy. :) H

Happy Easter

Happy Easter! I've always liked Easter. There is just something fun about it! Today, I was invited to an Easter BBQ. I'm really excited! Since I moved and changed jobs, I don't get to see a lot of these people anymore. I can't wait to eat and laugh. It's going to be a lot of fun!

And I can't help but think about next year. Having my baby with me. With a fun Easter outfit. And a big Easter basket. I just can't wait! My baby will be 6 months old. I just can't wait! Have a Happy Easter! H

DaVinci Jayden Furniture

So I finally decided on a Nursery set. Well, at least the furniture. The bedding, I have it narrowed down to 2 boy sets, and 2 girl sets. I have a little while longer to figure that out. Oh, and to learn if my baby is boy or a girl.

But as far as the nursery furniture, I bought the DaVinci Jayden set in Espresso. I think it's a nice neutral set. Something that can be used for a boy or a girl. And it grows with your baby! That was the biggest reason I fell in love with it. In total, I think I spent just over $2000 on the entire set and mattress. With all the attachments for later on too. There are 6 pieces. And there were another 3 sets of attachments that I had to buy. Actually, S paid for those. :)

This is the 3 main pieces together. Isn't it cute? I can't believe that I'm going to have a baby to fit in there!

This is the crib. It's one of those 4 in 1 cribs. You know, it goes from a crib to a toddler bed, to eventually a full sized bed. :)

This is a picture of it as a Daybed. For the toddler bed, there is a half rail that goes on the open end.

And see, eventually it will be a full sized bed. The sides of the crib become the head and foot boards. Yup, we got those rails and the ones for the toddler bed. :)

For some reason, the rest of the furniture looks like it doesn't match. It was just the website where I got the pictures. All the furniture is the color of the crib. In the 1st and 2nd pictures. :)

This is the big 5 drawer dresser. The top 2 drawers have dividers in them. So they are like 2 different drawers. Love it!

This is a 4 drawer dresser. But it's short enough to be like a night stand. And that's what I'm planning on using it as. Next to a chair. I just need to pick one. :)

This is another storage shelf thing. I couldn't find the picture of the entire unit though. It has a top part that is more shelving. Almost like a cabinet type of a thing. There are 3 long drawers and a 2 shelf thing on the side. Very useful!

And I got a book case. Of course for some books for my baby. But also for some little special items. And it has a drawer on the bottom.

I couldn't find the changing table. But it looks like the 5 drawer dresser. It just has 3 drawers and the railings for the top. You can take those off and use them as a dresser afterward.

I feel good now that I've got my baby's nursery furniture. I actually ordered it a while back. But I had it delivered to my new house. And S put it all together today. :) It seems like a lot of furniture. But the nursery is really big. And I still need to get some sort of chair or rocker. But I'm waiting a little while for that. I don't know exactly what I want. It just nice to see a crib in my Baby's Nursery. :)H

Starting Over

Today is the day. After S and Blue Eyes had to work yesterday, it was an unusual week, they're helping me move today. I'm sad. I'm sad to be leaving all my friends behind. My job. I really have grown to love it so much! I'm sad to be moving so far away. But I'm also excited. This is going to be amazing for me and my baby. A new beginning. A new home. Just a new start at a new life.

We're moving today. I'm getting out on my own. I'm going to own my own home. And I'm creating a life for me and my baby. My family. It's exciting. It's scary. It's a whole mess of emotions. But I'm so excited! I'm just glad that my friends could be here to help me. :) H

Shamrock Shake

Where are you? I'm craving you! None of our local McD's have them this year! What in the world is going on? I keep checking all of the websites, and there is not a McD's anywhere near here with this delicious green drinks!

McD's what's going on? I think these need to be sold everywhere. OK, I don't think they should, I KNOW they should! I would give almost anything to taste that yummy green, frozen goodness! H

Fettuccine Alfredo

The minute I seen this video, I started craving some Fettuccine Alfredo! My favorite is from Olive Garden. So creamy, cheesy, and yummy! I never really attempted to make it at home. I've seen the Alfredo sauce in a jar. But it never looked really good. Betty just makes it look so easy! Maybe it's a possibility. I might be able to succeed at this. That or I just need to go to Olive Garden! H