Mixed Emotions

I know I've been really emotional this week. Well, for the last few weeks. But watching this video, it made me both very sad and very happy.

Sad for Charlotte. Because she won't get to have these precious moments, with her Daddy. Chris is amazing with Chloe. I just wish T would feel this way about Charlotte. She won't get to feel the love from her Daddy. And to spend that much needed Daughter-Daddy time together. I know it's hard. Because that's how I grew up.

But this video also makes me happy and excited. Just watching Chloe makes me excited. Excited to watch my little girl grow! I can't wait to play with her. To watch her sucking her thumb. Or even just watching her sleep. I'm so excited for Charlotte to be here.

Although there are so many other things going on, it's the love for my daughter that has me going. Knowing that in a few days, I will have her to hold and love, it makes all of this worth it! All of it. Not sleep. All the discomforts of pregnancy. The stress with T and our divorce. My Baby Girl makes it all worth while! Now all I have to do, is what for her to be ready. I LOVE you Charlotte! H

I Can't Wait

I watched this video today. I kind of scared myself. You know with all the pain that is in my near future. But it was nice to watch a "real" labor. You know what I mean? I watched lots of videos in all the classes that I took. But this seems more real. And it was amazing to watch this mom with her baby girl. The baby just knew how to feed immediately. I can't wait until Charlotte's delivery! I know that sounds crazy. But I'm ready to meet my litte girl. :)

I just don't think I'll be that, well comfortable with my body though. You know to lay there completely naked for all to see. I might scare away my 3 birthing coaches. And that is the last thing I want to do. But I applaud this lady for being so comfortable with herself, to post this video. It has helped to calm some of my fears. H

Excited for Mommyhood

I just LOVE this video of Lilia! She is so cute. And I love the interaction with her and her parents. They all look so happy. She just lights up around her daddy. That is what kills me when I watch this video. Because all I can think of is, my daughter is not going to have that same relationship with her daddy. And that saddens me.

But just watching this video has made me excited. And so anxious! I can't wait to meet my daughter! To see her grow and change. To be able to hear her life. Or see her smile when she sees me. Oh, I'm so anxious to meet my little Charlotte. :)

Just watching Lilia play in her bath, that melted my heart. I can just imagine sharing that time with Charlotte. I can't wait until we can sit there and play. And we can make each other laugh. How exciting! I'm ready to be a mommy. I'm just waiting for my little girl to be born! H

Dinner for S

My friend S had a tough day yesterday. And I wanted to do something to cheer him up. Every Monday, S comes over for dinner. He drives over 3 hours to come visit me. One way! When I get home from work, he is sitting on my porch waiting for me. S always brings dinner, and usually something for Charlotte. Then he helps me with different projects around my house.

S is a great guy! He had a tough day yesterday. A really tough day. I wanted to do something special for him. Like cook him dinner. You know, instead of him buying something. So I'm planning on making this. Doesn't it look good? And it looks pretty easy. Something that I can't mess up. :)

Now I just need to go to work. And try and get off early. So that I can get to the grocery store. And hopefully have dinner ready for S. I told him not to worry about anything this week. Let's hope I can get it all done. H

Sweet Baby Things

I've been watching Shandell's videos for a while now. She is a mommy, expecting baby #2. A girl! She already has an adorable baby boy, Noah. I like her mommy channel and her makeup channel. :)



But it was this video that just made me stop tonight. I'm so excited! In 2 short days, it's our Baby Shower!!! I can't wait. Mostly because I get to see my bestie. But also, because I get to see so many friends. So many people that love my baby girl! And I finally get to see all these amazing things that my bestie has been making. I know she's been busy. Because she's hinted around a little.

I can't wait to see the cute things my little girl gets. Just over 3 weeks until my due date. I'm so excited! I can barely control myself! I honestly can't wait to meet my little girl. To hold her. Love her. And give her so many kisses! H

Kandee's Baby Cupcake :)

I LOVE Kandee! She is so inspirational. Especially to us single moms. And I watch her videos all the time! If only I could do my makeup half as good as she does hers...

I also really enjoy her personal videos too! Recently, Kandee announced that she is pregnant! I'm so excited for her! Every baby is a blessing. :)

This is a video of her ultrasound. When she found out that she is having a little girl!!!



And another announcement video...



I LOVE how excited she is! I also LOVE her more personal blog. So sweet! And from the heart. Sending lots of good thoughts and love Kandee's way. She's almost as excited to meet her Cupcake, as I am to meet my Charlotte. :) H

So Bubbly and Nice

I just love Sam's videos. She is so cute and excited with her pregnancy. And she is amazing with makeup! And hair too! She is so bubbly. And whenever I'm down, I sit and watch 1 of her videos. Sam is so genuine and sweet. And I've really been enjoying watching other women's videos about pregnancy. I think it's so nice to sit and listen to women going through the same thing that I'm going through. It makes me feel less alone.

You know, in this entire journey, I feel alone. I mean, I have Charlotte. But I don't have a partner to share this with. And all of my close friends live so far away. And most are super busy with their own families. And newborn babies. So it's nice to watch these pregnancy vlogs. :) H

Quints by Surprise

Have you seen this show? It's amazing! These parents are amazing. I just can't imaging raising 5 kids at once. Wow! But I feel like they're doing a great job. The Joneses are a lot more normal than the other "Multiples' Parents."

I really enjoy this show. The kids are adorable. The big sister, Eliot is super cute too. The family just seems to be so normal. You know, besides having 5 babies running around. But this is a great family. And I hope that this family is able to stay in one piece. They're super sweet. Here's a clip of the family. You should really check out this show. H

Mexican Chicken

I just watched this video. And this chicken dinner looks so yummy! It reminds me of the food from my hometown. I really want to make this recipe. It looks super easy. And well, I need that. Because I'm not a good cook. And cooking chicken, it scares me. I once made me and T really sick. Because I don't think the chicken was all the way cooked.

I'm going to have to go to the grocery store tomorrow, after church. And I'm definitely going to make this. I'm so hungry! But tonight's dinner is already in the Crock Pot. I just can't believe how easy this looks to make. Yum! H

Perfect Set!!!

Isn't this set so elegant and cute? What a pretty way to change diapers! I seen this set on this video...



And I LOVE it! You can buy it here. They range from $35-40 for the set. They all have wipee cases. The sets either have burp clothes or a changing pad.

Oh, and it matches this Diapees case! So perfect! I just love this print. And the colors. I know, not traditionally a "girly" combo. But they also have it in pink. :)



I would LOVE this set to stick in my purse. You know. For a quick trip to the grocery store or something like that. When you don't want to take a big diaper bag with you. Do you know what I mean?

And the group that Sonia mentioned...I joined that too. It's a great group! And I'm sure that I'm going to use it a lot more when Charlotte is born. Perfect for a breastfeeding-mommy-to-be. H

Hair Bows

Now that I know I'm having a little girl, I want to get her all kinds of girly things. But everything costs so much! And I'm a single Mommy here. With a new house payment. So I really wish I could make these hair bows.

This lady makes them look super easy! But I'm just not that crafty. I've tried. I went through 2 spools of ribbon. The bows look horrible. I guess I have to start paying the $10 for a single bow! Maybe I should practice some more. H

Betty's Party Chocolate-Coated Popcorn Recipe

This seriously looks good! How did I find this video? I still have no clue. But this chocolate coated popcorn looks amazing! I don't have any of these ingredients in my house. Remember I'm trying to be healthy? Well, I might just have to go grocery shopping. I really want some chocolate popcorn. :) H

Do I

When I first heard this song, I thought about T. We were once so in love. He was "The One." The only man I wanted to be with. The man I thought I'd grow old with. T was the one that knew it before I did. He begged me to move in with. To start traveling with him. I let him take the lead of our relationship. And I couldn't believe that this man loved me. And I mean really loved me. Thunder thighs and all!

I've never really felt that before. I never was really important to anyone. I mean my Grandma loves me. And my little brother. No one on earth has a better bestie than me! No one! But I've never felt really loved like I did with T. It was way beyond the physical stuff too. That was incredible. But it was more than that. It was just a feeling I had when I was with him. I felt safe, comfortable, and loved.

For the 1st time in my life, I felt like someone really cared. If I went missing, someone would notice. T made me feel special. He did things for me, that no other man had done. I've had boyfriends in the past. But this was different. And I really loved him.

Things between us, they started quickly. From the time we met, until we got married, was 7 months! But then they fell apart quickly too! We were happily married for a little more than 3 months. Before I knew it, I was sitting on the floor of our bedroom, crying my eyes out. Wondering what had happened.

This song, it explains so much. The 1st time I heard it, I cried. And every time it comes on the radio, I think about T. We worked together for months. Not talking. Just working. I don't know what happened. I don't know how he could love me so much, and hurt me so badly. But it happened. I still love him. I have a feeling that I'll always love him. But I know, for myself, and my baby...I need to move on.

I miss the days when we lived in the townhouse. We'd spend our free time ordering takeout and T trying to teach me how to play videos games. We'd play with W. We'd sit and talk. Talk about our crappy childhoods. And how badly we wanted our kids to have better lives than we did. We talked a lot! Laughing and enjoying each other. The slightest touch from T, would give me goosebumps all the way to my insides. I miss that. But I know, we've grown in different directions.

Every time I hear this song, I'll think of him. That much I know. Every time I feel our baby move, I think of him. But I'm moving on. I need to. Because I know he's moved on. No matter how much I wanted this to work, he's just not in the same place as I am. H

I Should Learn How to Cook Like This...

Really, I don't know how to cook. Not very much. And not well. In fact, I'm pretty sure the one time I really attempted a big dinner for me and my hubby, I got us sick. I don't think I cooked the chicken all the way...

But these 2 videos give me a little hope. And around here, well Southern food is a must! I just don't know how to cook...





And now that I have an appetite again, I think I really need to start learning how to cook. Before I know it, I'll be a mommy. And my little girl will be depending on me to cook for her. I really want her to eat better than I did as a kid. I was pretty much raised on fast food and frozen food. Not good!

I don't think I'll start with this recipe. But I'm really going to focus on learning how to cook. At least by the time my daughter is old enough, I should know how to cook something. Something that tastes decent, and is somewhat healthy. :) H

Fettuccine Alfredo

The minute I seen this video, I started craving some Fettuccine Alfredo! My favorite is from Olive Garden. So creamy, cheesy, and yummy! I never really attempted to make it at home. I've seen the Alfredo sauce in a jar. But it never looked really good. Betty just makes it look so easy! Maybe it's a possibility. I might be able to succeed at this. That or I just need to go to Olive Garden! H