Friday, October 1, 2010

Week 40: Waiting

Dear Honeybee,

Today is our due date. And I'm so excited to meet you! Every week I get to see you, and hear your heartbeat. And every week, I leave our doctor's appointment more anxious to meet you! But neither of us seem to be ready today. Our bodies just need some more time to get ready. We're no closer to labor and delivery than we were last week. And I learned today, we could be pregnant for another 2 weeks! Yes, another 2 weeks. I'm not sure I can wait that long to meet you.

It's been an emotional week. A week that I wish you didn't have to deal with. I'm trying to protect from all of this bad stuff. All of the things that your Daddy puts us through. But this week, we had to deal with it. And it saddens me. I hope we can get it all straightened out. I want to do that before you come.

It's tough. Because your Daddy wasn't always like this. He was so kind, gentle, and loving to me. That's why I married him. We dreamt of the day when we'd have a family together. And here we are. Getting ready to Welcome you into the world. And we can't get along.

But these are all "Grown Up" problems. And you don't have to worry about them. You just have to worry about staying healthy and happy. I will do everything else I can, to protect you. Your Uncle S and Nono are here to protect you too. They will try and fill this void, that you're going to have, in your life. And I hope they can. Because I don't want you to miss out on anything during your lifetime.

Your Nana is pretty amazing too! I know that she loves us so much! She carves out time to listen to your Mommy. And she keeps sending us both gifts! I wish that she lived closer to us. I wish that she'd let your Nono love her. Because she is an amazing woman. Someone that has so much love to give. But soon, you will learn all of this.

I picked her to be your Godmother because she's strong and independent. My bestie is so smart! Andis just an amazing woman. Everything that I wish I was. And I want you to learn how to be a strong woman. Someone who has strong morals, values, and beliefs. I want you to learn all of this from your Nana. She's an amazing woman.

As hard as we've had it, you and me, we have a bunch of amazing friends. Friends that are more like our family. And they love us. And pick up the slack for the people who are not here with us. The ones that are supposed to love us.

Soon enough, you'll get to meet everyone. And you're going to love them, just as much as they love you little Miss Charlotte. They love you so much! And we're all waiting on you. Waiting so patiently for you to come into the world. So that we can hold you and love you. Everyone keeps calling for updates. Uncle S spent so much time with us this week. We're just excited to meet you!

W and I are ready. We're ready to bring you home. To love you. To be a family together. And this week, I've learned that I have to wait. Because I can't make things happen, just because I want them to happen. Life comes when it comes. And we have to learn how to be patient. Charlotte your Mommy is being patient. And waiting for you to get big, healthy, and strong enough to be born! Love you lots little girl!

Your Mommy

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